The second variable in the resilience tree metaphor is “roots”. For a tree, the roots are a pathway to gaining nourishment. For a student affairs professional, the roots translate to self care, finding an escape, a place, space, or activity that allows you to step away from work and recharge/refuel, where you can not have to think of the coping mechanism such as shifting, double-consciousness, covering, assimilating, wearing a mask
For the longest time this variable was listed last as my participant’s understanding of how to incorporate this in their life came later in their career. However I have moved it up as self-care is a topic I believe should be taught before we burn out, hit rock bottom, and are questioning whether we should stay in student affairs! If we are going to be resilient we need to start learning how to refuel, set boundaries and expectations, and unplug earlier.
Roots – Self Help
The roots are what grounds you. With a strong sense of groundedness you can be swayed any which way and taken off course. What you believe, the stories you tell yourself, what you value, what makes you “you”, what replenishes you, what allows you to let down your guard, to no longer have to be coincident of perceptions, to be nurtured, to extend and become even more solid as a tree. You need to get water and the environment or soil matters / your environment matters.* (This is good but each of these can be separated and drawn out a bit) Another way to look at this is self-care. How do you care for yourself? How do you make time for yourself while extending your care to others? How do you create the infrastructure for you to withstand what the world brings? This is reminiscent of strengths based work. You are being honest with yourself about what you need and what work environment fits you. This takes courageous transparency and a willingness to be vulnerable in the face of who you think you “should” be. I’m just the morning writing about the roots of the resilience tree and what it really comes down to is being true to who you are, giving yourself the space and the permission to do that; to feel that, to listen and to act on that. You can be competent at something but it not bring you joy or fulfillment. It is not using your strengths to the maximum and therefore not allowing you to reach you full potential. Being vulnerable with someone.
My participants found many ways to “self soothe” when times were challenging. They said that they would go to church, enjoy talks at the beauty salon, sing gospel music in the car loudly. Some days, they would shut the door to their office and breathe deeply, cry, or meditate. Other days, they would go for a hike in the woods to recollect themselves and connect with the beauty of nature.
When I first found out that this was a necessary component for resilience I felt hopeless. I thought spirituality and religion was missing in my life and I left lost to try to add that to my life though it hasn’t been a big part in the past. A mentor told me that I simply had to find what grounded me. What made me feel like me? What was it I believed in and held dear? What was never changing? A guidepost to lead me back from whatever the situation was. Eventually I realized that yoga was my spirituality. Though I intellectually knew that spirituality did not have to mean religion I still thought that was what I needed. I was stereotyping a black women to mean going to and being involved in the church and I was berating myself for not having that until someone pointed out that yoga was my spirituality place. Then when I could go dancing for hours and counterintuitively feel more energized rather than depleted I realized that those are the things that centered me. That allowed my spirit to sore and not be weighed down by the world, my thoughts, or expectations unless I let it. I’m a poor dancer when I think too much and feel that others are watching and judging me. When I relax I exceed my expectations and feel great. The mind is a powerful tool that too often we use against ourselves.
Generic Tenants of roots:
- Things / thoughts / activities that:
- Refuel you
- Nourish you
- Replenishes you
- Centers you
- Refreshes you
- Grounds you
- Makes you feel like you
- Strengthens you
- Makes you feel safe
- Reinforce your values / beliefs
- Self-care / take care of yourself / make time for yourself
- Spaces, places, or activities where you an escape / stop focusing on the risk factors / stressors and be safe to be your authentic self
Specific Examples:
- Seeking inspiration
- Page 152
- Rest
- Self-care
- Asana pose
- Meditation
- Creating space
- Margination
- Fulfillment
- What feeds your soul