A Resilience Tree Leadership Fable
Fran Ellis had always been known for her generosity. She was the kind of leader who could light up a room, soothe a tense meeting, and mentor three people before lunch. Her colleagues marveled at how she made space for everyone.
“She’s a natural giver,” they said.
And they weren’t wrong.
Fran loved seeing others grow. She’d stay late reviewing a colleague’s presentation slides, volunteer for committee after committee, and always had time for “just one more quick question.” It felt good, at first.
But over time, something shifted.
One evening, Fran sat in her office staring at an email she couldn’t bring herself to answer. Around her, half-finished projects piled up. Her phone buzzed with missed calls. Her usually vibrant energy felt brittle, like a piece of fruit left too long in the sun.
“Why can’t I just push through?” she whispered to herself.
As she rubbed her temples, she thought of her grandmother’s orchard back home. There had been a tree, once heavy with fruit, that stopped producing one year. Fran had asked her grandmother why.
“It’s not broken,” her grandmother said gently. “It’s resting. Even the best trees need a season to pull their energy inward, to strengthen their roots before giving again.”
At the time, Fran hadn’t understood. Now, the memory felt like a quiet revelation.
🌿 A Moment of Truth
The next day, during a check-in with her mentor, Fran confessed how drained she felt.
“I don’t understand,” she admitted. “Helping people is who I am. But lately, I’m snappy and tired. Even when I say yes, I don’t mean it. I thought this was my strength… why does it feel like a weakness now?”
Her mentor nodded knowingly.
“Fran, your giving is beautiful. But even fruit trees get pruned. Too many branches can weigh a tree down, and too much fruit can leave it weak for the next season. It’s not selfish to rest; it’s wise. What would happen if you gave from overflow instead of depletion?”
The words settled over Fran like a cool breeze.
🌺 Relearning to Say No
Fran began small.
She turned down a last-minute request to chair yet another committee, explaining, “I can’t give this the energy it deserves right now.” She paused before answering texts late at night. She even blocked off two hours every Friday for quiet reflection.
It wasn’t easy. At first, guilt nipped at her heels. But something surprising happened: as Fran nourished her own energy, her yeses became more wholehearted.
Her colleagues noticed too.
“You seem… lighter,” one observed.
Fran smiled. “I’m learning that saying no isn’t shutting a door, it’s making room for the right yeses.”
And slowly, Fran began to blossom again; producing not more fruit, but better fruit.
✍🏽 Journal Reflection Prompts
- 🌱 Your Giving Style
- What are the ways you most naturally give to others (time, advice, encouragement, support)?
- When has your giving felt energizing? When has it felt draining?
- ✋🏽 Learning to Pause
- What is one area of your life where you’re overextended?
- How would it feel to set a boundary there? What fears or beliefs might get in the way?
- 🍊 Giving from Overflow
- What practices refuel your energy and creativity?
- How could you build more of these into your daily rhythm?
🗣️ Discussion Prompts for Groups
- Fran’s mentor said, “Even fruit trees get pruned. Too much fruit can leave a tree weak for the next season.”
- How do you recognize when it’s time for pruning in your own life?
- How can leaders balance service to others with care for themselves?
- Where in your career have you experienced “bitter fruit” from overgiving or resentment?
- What would it look like to course-correct earlier next time?
- What would it look like to course-correct earlier next time?
- How can organizations create cultures that allow leaders to rest and replenish without judgment?
Grow Your Resilience Tree
If this resonates, check out my book: Resilience Tree: A Model for Women Leaders of Color and Those Who Support Them Now Available on in paperback and audio:
Nurture your roots. Rise with purpose. Let’s grow together.
Written by Dr. Shauna T. Sobers, Creator of the Resilience Tree www.shaunatsobers.com#Resilience #Leadership #Followership #ResilienceTree #LivingTheResilienceTree #WomenLeadersOfColor #EmpoweringYou #WomenLeaders #LeadershipDevelopment #PersonalGrowth #EmotionalWellbeing
Drafting assistance provided by OpenAI’s ChatGPT. The thoughts & stories are my own.