“How long did it take you to write your book?”
This is the question I hear the most about Resilience Tree: A Model for Women Leaders of Color and Those Who Support Them.
It’s an honest question. And if you’ve ever had a big dream of your own—writing a book, starting a business, launching a project—you probably understand why my answer isn’t simple.
This book wasn’t just written.
It was lived.
And along the way, it taught me powerful lessons about courage, growth, and honoring your own timeline.
🌱 Lesson 1: Your model is still growing while you are growing
When I finished my dissertation in 2014, I didn’t yet have the Resilience Tree model. Back then, my research focused on risk factors and compensatory variables for women leaders of color.
But something in me knew there was more to discover.
In quieter moments, I kept gravitating toward tree imagery. The journals and stationery I bought at Barnes & Noble always seemed to have trees on them. Eventually, I paused long enough to listen: the tree wasn’t just decoration. It was a metaphor for what I was seeing in my work.
🌿 Roots—your values and grounding.
🌿 Branches—the ways you grow and reach toward your goals.
🌿 Fruit—the impact you have on others and the legacy you leave.
🌿 Environment—the people and spaces that nourish (or hinder) your growth.
But something in me knew there was more to discover.
Over the years, I tested and refined ideas in real life:
🌿 Facilitating in-person and virtual workshops
🌿 writing an article on mentorship
🌿 Giving a TED style speech
🌿 Hosting and guesting on podcasts (#ResilienceSpeaks, ISOGO TV, & Building the Village)
🌿 Facilitating pre-conference half-day institutes
🌿 Using the model as a framework for panels (as a panelist at SXSWedu panel and as a moderator at the Kendra Scott Women’s Summit)
Every time I spoke with a room full of leaders or listened deeply to their stories, the Resilience Tree began to take shape.
Each engagement informed my thoughts and, in turn, the book. For instance, the Resilience Tree Afterword, “How Others Can Help,” was inspired by a presentation I gave for the American College Health Association (ACHA).
The model needed time to grow. And so did I.
🌱 Lesson 2: Growth is not linear (and that’s okay)
There were seasons of flow, where words poured out of me. And there were seasons where it felt heavy, and I had to set the project aside.
I spent nearly two years just sitting with the cover design—learning to feel ready for others to read my words, and for me to read them without critiquing every line.
What I realized was this:
🌿 Each pause gave me perspective.
🌿 Each struggle strengthened my voice.
🌿 Each draft that didn’t make it taught me what did belong.
The journey wasn’t about speed. It was about becoming the kind of person who could write this book.
🌱 Lesson 3: You don’t have to do it alone
Here’s what I wish I’d known earlier: it’s hard to create something bold and new when you feel like no one around you fully understands what you’re building.
Well-meaning people in my life wanted to help, but they didn’t always understand my drive to not settle for “good enough” or to challenge the status quo. And I didn’t know many people who had been through the publishing process.
What helped?
✨ Weekly counseling sessions to process the doubts and keep reconnecting to my why.
✨ Discovering I have ADHD—which gave me compassion for my process and helped me embrace my bursts of hyperfocus while forgiving the times my executive functioning struggled.
✨ Reaching out to others who had walked this path, like Coach Daron K. Roberts, who introduced me to the publisher that eventually helped me bring this book to life.
You may not know the “right” people yet. But trust me: there are mentors, guides, and communities who can walk beside you. You don’t have to do it alone.
🌳 So how long did it take?
Some would say five years. Others might say ten, if you count from my dissertation.
But I’ve come to believe this:
✨ It took as long as it needed to. I had to live the lessons before I could write them.
And maybe your dream—the one you’ve been carrying quietly—isn’t “taking too long” either. Maybe it’s still growing roots so it can bloom strong enough to nourish others.
🍃 What about you?
💡 What project, story, or dream are you sitting on right now?
💡 What would happen if you gave yourself permission to grow at your own pace?
💡 Who might benefit from the “fruit” of your journey once it’s ready?
It’s not too late. It’s not taking too long. You are not behind.
Just like the strongest trees, your growth is happening underground—even when no one else can see it yet.
🌱 Ready to grow with Resilience Tree?
If you’re a leader, an ally, or someone who wants to create environments where women of color can thrive, this book is for you.
*If you liked this post, you may also like, “So You Want to Write a Book? Start Here.“
Drafting assistance provided by OpenAI’s ChatGPT. The thoughts & stories are my own.