When I first saw the enclosed image posted by @PositiveOutlooks on Facebook a year ago it reminded me of the output tenant of the Resilience Tree Model – #leaves, #fruit, etc. The tenant recognizes that when you give advice, teach, or share your experiences, that reflective activity helps you to realize what you have gone through evidenced by the advice and/or strategies for success to share. The part that gives resilience, the energy to go again through the challenges you may be facing today, or the energy to withstand what negativity might be coming your way, is the reflection and realization that you are still standing and awesome because of it!
This year, when the quote re-appeared on my Facebook feed, I reflected further as the leaves component is one of the hardest concepts for folks to grasp in the #ResilienceTree model. People get the part about giving back and paying it forward (or the producing of fruit or leaves) but sometimes they do it to their detriment because they do not know when or how to turn it off, which leads to burnout. In other words, they want to stay in “bloom” long past the “season”. They give more than they have to give and they sacrifice themselves to do it! Ultimately, you have to have a season of hibernation or self-care (#roots) in order to produce colorful leaves and tasty fruit for the benefit of others.
Besides the tree analogy, I have been thinking lately about comparing people’s need for rest and self-care to that of charging a phone battery. Sometimes I go through my day and can never seem to get my phone to a full charge. I get it charged enough to keep it going for a little while, but I am using the battery almost as quickly as I can get back to another outlet to recharge. That is exhausting and inefficient. There are times when I need to take a break and get a full charge so that I can function at my best just like I have to eventually get that phone charged or it will shut down.
Giving back is a wonderful thing but it needs to be done in moderation. It is not only okay but necessary to give to yourself as well. Getting things done and moving forward is important AND every now and again it is okay to put the load down and look at how far you have come before moving forward again. It may actually help you stay resilient…
For more information about the Resilience Tree Model visit: www.shaunatsobers.com/resilience