One of the reasons I like the Latin partnered dance community and the Bikram yoga community is that you don’t spend a lot of time verbally communicating. 😋
I don’t like small talk. 🤷🏾♀️ I don’t get energy from meeting people for the first time. I am weary of the typical questions asked upon meeting a stranger – What’s your name? What do you do? Where do you work? Where are you from?
I see those as very personal and intimate questions that I guard and don’t want to share if I don’t know what you are going to do with that information. 🙈
This way of thinking is not understood by most people. They are like get over yourself, just answer the question and stop thinking too much into it. 🤢
I realized recently that I enjoy that in yoga we often see each other for days before verbally speaking and it’s usually a hello until the next time. We share energy, we share an interest in an activity, we share passion and motivation to improve ourselves and be in a communal space. 💃🏾 🧘🏾♀️
In dance you gave 2-5 minutes physically connecting, communicating non verbally, getting a sense of their vibe, expressing ourselves, matching and reacting to tensions then the song is okay and we go our separate ways. We may at that point as what each other’s name is but usually not. We may see each other at different events and dance a few more times. We build a connection and appreciation for each other all before we have had a verbal conversation. All before we know one another’s employment status and background that can sometimes put people in boxes and limit connection.
I realized recently that this aspect of these communities is attractive to me and allows me to show up more as myself because the expectations of my title, role, position, profession, etc. are not there. That doesn’t matter. What matters is me. Am I a person that vibes with another person? If so, then we can get to know them more. If not, keep it moving with no verbal information shared (visual and sensory information is being shared for those who have sight or smell)
I recognize that these preferences of mine and activities that I am naturally drawn to aligned with my CliftonStrengths talents of Relator and Intellection. Relator because it’s about intimacy and building relationships slowly over time. Intellection because it’s about introspection, time for thought, and processing.
What do you all think? What has been your experiences? What do you like about the communities you are drawn to?
*If you liked this analogy visit my “Leadership Lessons from Dance” blog at: https://lnkd.in/g29gkx8w
*If you liked this analogy check out my TEDxTalk titled, “Dance of Leadership” https://shaunatsobers.com/tedtalk/
*If you liked this analogy check out my chapter, “Leadership Lessons from Partnered Dance” published in the book “Visionistas: Women Who Think Outside the Box” which you can purchase a signed copy at: www.shaunatsobers.com/books